It’s been a weird season. There have been countless blessings and transformative experiences that I would never have imagined for myself, while there have been definitive moments I’d rather sweep under the rug of avoidance. Nonetheless, I’m learning to handle the transition of changed; the key word is “learning”. I’m awkwardly stumbling over my feet, yet with great perseverance I keep getting back up and focusing on God’s promises and vision for my life. And it’s through the art of finding my way that I’m gracefully grasping that I’m not perfect, and I miss the mark countless times. In brutal honesty, I’m untangled, I have messy feelings that like to escape my “perfectly” coiffed demeanor and there are many situations where I cling to things that cause me more harm than good.
Yet through the tiresome striving I realize I’m not being called to be perfect, I’m being called to mature in my walk with Christ. If we delve into Matthew 5:48 it says we are called to be “ perfect as our heavenly Father is perfect.” The Greek word for perfect is “telos” and translations of the word “telos” are “perfect, goal, end or purpose.” In this context, “telos” is used as a path towards an end. In later scripture, the word “telos” is used as a way to describe the mature Christian walk (1 Corinthians 14:20, Corinthians 4:12). Therefor, if this is the case then how can I grow in my walk? I can continue reading the Bible, versing scripture verbatim, writing in my journal, and this isn’t to disqualify the fact I don’t enjoy doing these things, yet on the same pendulum something is missing, I’m craving something more, I’m desiring a deeper relationship with the God of creation. In essence, I’ve hit a wall and I take full responsibility for that. I need to remove the lenses I’m reading the Bible through and exchange them with a new pair. A pair that can honestly only be provided by God. You see I’m yearning for truth; raw, illuminating truth. Therefor during this transition I plan to seek God in different avenues alongside the spiritual guidelines I already follow– for if you earnestly seek Him, you will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). Some options I have are to study the Bible following a specific theme (i.e.: the life of Jesus, identity in Christ, healing, etc.) delve broader into the meaning of the word and then let the meaning penetrate the calloused areas of my heart and establish a richer prayer life where it’s Christ-centered and not Brianna-centered (and it can so easily sway that way). This process for greater intimacy with God will be uncomfortable because growth is never painless, yet staying the same will leave me with the looming question, “What if I didn’t choose to grow?” My question for you is this: in the shifting season how do you delve deeper with God?